英语翻译
Ihateschool,andmyteacherisreallydisappointatme,butIdon’tcare.OnceIrippedupmytextanduseditformyartproject,butIstillgota“D”,whichIwasreallygladaboutthat.Iwenttoagallery,andcopiedonePicasso’spainting,anddrewapigheadinsteadofanormalheadandhungmypicturebesideit.AndIstillthinkthatIamprettygoodatsingingtoo,becauseItaughtAdelehowtosing“Rollinginthedeep”,butnobodybelievethat,includingObamaandStevenHarper.
IcanmemorizethewholeGoodBookandeverynumberofcircumferenceratio.Icanlivewithoutfoodforawholeweek,butstillfeelveryenergeticandcanstillrun10mileswithoutbreakingasweat.Icansleepforawholewinterjustlikehibernate.AndIcankeepmyeyesopenfor5minuteswithoutblinking.
I’vebeento20differentcountriesandIcanevenswimfromShanghaitoVladivostok.Iusealeadcorefor2monthswithmorethan2000wordsaday.Icanwearasameshirtforamonthbutstillcleanandneat.Icanwash10jacketsin2minutes.AndIalwaysmakemyownclothesandshoesandsometimesIwouldsellthem,andnowIhaveacompanyofmyown,whichisAdidas.
YouknowIamnotveryrich.Tillnow,Ionlyhave1houseinCanada,2carsinAmerica,4apartmentsinChina,and9refugesinLibya.Idonate1centeachtimetoRedCrossinsteadofdonateahugeamountofmoneyatonce.BecausethenIcanbeonthedonatingboardveryoften,andtillnow,Ihad197timestobeonboard,butyoushouldknowthatIjustonlydonated1dollarand97cents.MybiggestwishistohaveaiPhone20,inordertoachievethiswish,Ihadalmost800phonecallstoStevenJobs.Iwasgladthathesaidhecoulddothatinfutureatlast,butasIwasdreamingaboutiPad30,StevenJobsdied.
ManypeoplesaidthatIamaveryhumorperson,andmakethemlaughallthetime.ButactuallyIdon’tthinkIam,becauseIliketolaugh,andmakethemlaugh.OnceIwasonKimJong’swedding,theemceeaskedmetosaysomething,andwhatIsaidwas“thelobsterwasgood”and“IwishKimJongwouldnevereverbreakup”,butafterIfinishedthat,theywerealllaughing.
IthinkIshouldstopwritingfornow,becausemymomjustreceivedacallfromQueenElizabeth,sheaskedmeifIcanattendherdaughter’swedding,andI’mstillwonderingwhatIcouldsay.
